Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God

What's More Important?

2010-05-07T10:52:00.009-05:00

I've been there . . . recently. I have inhabited the land of "I'm right and you're wrong." In fact, I think I was temporarily named queen there. I sat on my royal throne and looked down from on high at the minions beneath me knowing that I held the correct answer. I was right. Until I discovered I was wrong.

It's not wrong to be right. In fact, it can be a very good thing as long as we're willing to be wrong. Are you confused yet, dear reader?

At times, in this walk - this journey we call Christianity - I have been so sure that I was right that I didn't even stop to consider that I could be wrong. I held so tightly to my justified anger or my sense of superiority that I was unable to hear the voice of the Lord whispering how wrong I was. Oh, at times I was even correct, but I wasn't right.

You see, it's really not all about wrong and right. It is really all about relationship. The destination is nice, but it's more about the journey. Our life with our Father is not so much about getting it all right, but more about loving Him enough to hear through all the noise.

I know, I know, it sounds like I'm rambling, and I am. You are completely welcome to close your browser or flip to someone else's blog to get a more coherent message because right now, all of this is tumbling from my fingertips faster than I can breathe.

I suppose that a better way to state it is that you can be correct and still be wrong. I have had more than one disagreement with friends or family where I knew that I was right. And I prayed, "Lord, show them how wrong they are." Sometimes He answered that prayer, but more often than not, He showed me how wrong I was.

The better approach, and one that I've learned the hard way is to pray, "Lord, I think I have the answer, but show me Your way." I believe that our heart should be to hear and not always to speak. Sometimes I need to slap a filter on this thing called a mouth and not just think before I speak but listen before I speak. Listen to hear His heart, His way, His plan.

Here is the sticking point for most of us. When we pray these prayers, most of the time, we want Him to say, "You're right. Well done, son or daughter, thank you for your righteous, holy, perfect perception." And in our fantasy that other person will bow his knee before us descrying his mistakes and begging for our magnanimity. PUHLEESE!!

I'm serious, people. I've been in situations where I was completely in the right. I have dealt with people who have treated me so wrongly that I was broken before my Father. And do you know what He said? "Forgive." One word - that's what I got. And do you know what? I needed that one word.

The Bible says in Isaiah 64:6 "We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags." Do you know what that phrase "filthy rags" means? I looked it up. It is referring to rags soiled as by a woman having her monthly cycle. Yeah, seriously, it does. Go ahead, check your Strong's Concordance. I'll wait.

That is what our righteousness looks like. Is that really what you want to hold onto? Is that what you want to carry around with you all day long? A bunch of nasty, stinky rags. I don't mean to be graphic, but think about what that would be like after a while. I wouldn't want to spend much time with someone carrying around that odiferous baggage.

So, it's time to decide this: What's more important - being correct or being right? What is more valuable - your "rights" or your relationship?

Paul puts it this way in Philippians 3:8-9. "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith."

When all else fails, be willing to change. Yes, I did just say that. Be available to be wrong, so He can take you beyond the point of righteous indignation to righteousness. His righteousness.

Oh, and I reserve the right to be wrong . . . often.

Blessings!

Where Have I Been?

2010-04-23T08:30:00.000-05:00

My poor little blog has been sorely lacking in attention in recent months. I would be really surprised if anyone out there who used to read this blog still stops by. It's really a good thing this blog isn't a house or we'd have gotten hundreds of warning letters from the home owners' association by now on the sad disrepair and unkempt look of it. Alright, I'm finished with the ridiculous analogies.

To answer the question: Where have I been? Well, right here. Okay, not "here" on my blog, but "here". I've been busy living life and rediscovering my passion for life and loving God.

I'm going to be a bit honest here, and I sincerely hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings. This is the story of my journey, and it isn't meant to reflect badly on anyone else. OK, now that the disclaimer is out of the way: here goes.

We spent years in a local assembly, and we loved most of it. However, we really struggled there over the past couple of years. There were a lot of things that went into that, and none of them really needs to be discussed here in detail. Suffice it to say that we didn't realize it at the time, but we were dying a slow spiritual death.

Now, I don't blame the pastor or the church for this. It is mostly my fault for succumbing to the whisperings of doubt and discouragement. I just got to the place that I was struggling, and I felt like there was no lifeline where we were. Maybe I should have screamed louder, but sometimes you get so entrenched in your own circumstances that you can no longer find your voice to yell for help. The feeling was something akin to the dream where you wake up trying to scream, but all that comes out is a whisper.

We stayed as long as we did because we were being obedient to the Lord. He told us to stay, so we did until He told us to leave. We still love all of the people at our old assembly, and we love the pastors who recently retired after many years of faithful service. But, we are very excited about where we are now. Is it perfect? HA! If it was, they would have to kick us out. But it is perfect for us because that is where Papa has placed us.

Our little angel loves her children's pastor and the volunteers who give her so much love and affection. For my husband and I, it was as if we had been suffocating and didn't even realize it until we were able to breathe fully and deeply of His presence. I feel stronger and more full of faith than I have ever been.

Let me give you an example. My husband still doesn't have a permanent job - he's still substitute teaching. Now, ask me if that worries me . . . go ahead, ask! Never mind, I'll just tell you - NO! In fact, he recently resigned from his second job, a part-time gig at Sears, because we both (separately) felt that was what the Lord wanted.

About four weeks ago our refrigerator went out, and we had to get a new one. Then two days ago my angelic daughter spilled a cup of coffee on my cell phone (which also serves as our home phone) effectively ending its life. Oh, and the air conditioner in our car is still on the fritz as we approach summer here is Southeast Texas.

A year ago the combination of those events would have sent me into a complete panic. I would have screamed, "Why, God, is this happening to us? Can't anything ever be easy? What did I do to deserve this?" Yes, I can be very melodramatic at times. This time though I greeted it with an, "OK, Papa, how are you going to handle this circumstance?"

At every turn our faith just seems to be building. We are once again singing His praises with abandon. I have a song in my heart that He has placed there.

I have to say that I credit a great part of our renewed joy and faith to where we are now worshiping. The pastor speaks words of faith and encouragement. He acknowledges the difficulties in this life but speaks to God's faithfulness and His power in us. It is just the recipe I needed, and it has allowed me to let go of the load I was carrying, which was breaking my will.

Here is the great part in all of this, and I find myself in disbelief even as I say this: Our circumstances have not changed, but He has changed us in the midst of our circumstances. This has been one of the hardest times in our life to walk through; however, I can say that I am seeing the fruit of it in our relationship with God.

I am reminded of the story where Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on water and promptly sank like a rock (see Matthew 14:23-33). He asked me to trust in Him, and I did until I saw the waves. Fortunately, He has taken my hand, shown me His great love and allowed me to learn to trust more fully in Him.

I am in no way naive enough to think I will never struggle again. I am, however, trusting enough to believe that He will remain steadfast in me even when I find myself wavering.

Blessings!

I want to be a model

2010-04-22T12:36:00.004-05:00

I want to be a model. No, not that kind of model. I'm barely 5'1", and I'm pretty sure I weigh more than most of those girls on the runways. OK, let's be honest, I'd be surprised if I don't beat all of them by at least 10 or 15 lbs. I want to be a different kind of model.

I have a 4 year old daughter who is very into the princesses and all that goes with them. She loves the dresses and the stories. I don't blame her. I did too at her age. Who am I kidding? I still love it. Recently, I was confronted by a different influence in my daughter's life - her older cousins.

My 14 year-old niece recently went to her 8th grade dance at school. Let me tell you, it's a lot different than it was for me at that age. I wore shorts to my 8th grade dance, and there wasn't a whole lot of dancing that I recall. We pretty much stood around and stared at one another. My niece, on the other hand, was dressed in a formal dress, had her hair done professionally and danced the night away.

Of course, this sparked my daughter's interest, and she immediately began talking of her 8th grade dance. It was hard to explain to her that we don't agree with all of that. Besides, we are homeschooling her, so her 8th grade dance would have a really small number of people in attendance.

In the eyes of many in society we are weird. We're weird, and we embrace our oddity as a family. We are homeschooling. We don't believe in dating - courtship is much more biblical in our opinion. We are holy rollers. The list goes on and on.

The point is: I want to be a model for my daughter. I want her to see the kind of life we live and have her improve upon it. Our kids are bombarded with images and ideas at school, in the media, and even in our extended families that don't line up with our principles and beliefs.

So, we made up our minds when my daughter was born that we were okay with being "weird," "different" or however you want to describe us. We are going to live our lives seeking to do God's will and hearing His voice over and above all the noise.

I suppose that what it all boils down to is that we need God to be the primary influence in our kids' lives. That mostly happens through our influence as parents and through the influences we allow in their little worlds. It is my job as a parent to shield her from negative influences when I can, explain God's way when I can't shield her and pray always!

I want to be a model. So, I'm not going to have head shots done, lose 20 pounds (although 10 would be nice) or start trying on couture clothing. I am going to drown out all the noise with His words and influence so when I stand before Him, I won't have to worry about singe marks from all the wood, hay and straw that is burned (I Corinthians 3:12-15).

Blessings!

It's Just the Little Things

2010-01-30T12:02:00.005-06:00

Sometimes it's the little things in life that make our days bearable. Sometimes it's the little things in life that turn a day from ordinary into extraordinary. Sometimes it's the little things in life that make you so thankful that you were granted another day to enjoy.

I've been appreciating those little things more recently. Things like my daughter's hugs, my cozy home, and my church family have just grown in importance these past few weeks. I can't put my finger on what has made me more aware of these daily joys, but I'm so thankful for my newly opened eyes.

It really makes me think about the lyrics of an old song:

Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mr. In-Between

You know, there are times in each of our lives - at least, there have been many in mine - where we have the option of seeing the glass half empty or half full. I tend to be an optimist and see the half full side more often than not. However, it's a choice that at times needs to be more deliberately made. Of late, that has been very true in my own life.

Occasionally, we need to take a step back from our circumstances and ask Papa if He will give us a glimpse of the silver lining surrounding that dark cloud we have been travelling beneath. I'm not saying that it is an easy thing to do. On the contrary, many times it is the most difficult approach to attempt. To quote a former coworker of mine, "The kicker is this . . . " It works.

If you have been shown your sin, have accepted our Savior's sacrifice and have new life as a result, then you, like me, always have something to rejoice in. Psalm 32:10-11 says it better than I can: ¹⁰ Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord. ¹¹ Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

So, I encourage you today to "accentuate the positive", "rejoice", and maybe even throw in a "shout for joy" just for good measure!

Blessings!

Happy Birthday

2009-12-20T08:30:00.023-06:00

Today is a day of great joy and celebration in our house. It is the 4th anniversary of the day that an angel came into our lives. My darling husband and I spent years praying, hoping, dreaming and pleading with God before we became parents. Since our miracle arrived, the joy we have shared has far and away eclipsed the pain and struggle of the waiting.

Our daughter Avari was born exactly 4 years ago to the moment that I am writing this entry. She has brought nothing but joy to all those she encounters. She is a precocious bundle of energy and inquisitiveness as evidenced just this morning.

My clever girl decided that she wasn't going to turn 4 years old today - she would remain 3 years old for another year. When prodded and questioned, she revealed that she did not want to get any older because the result might be that "you couldn't pick me up anymore if I get older and bigger, Mama." She can turn your frustration or sorrow into joy in the blink of an eye.

Yes, I know I am her mother, but we are stopped in the store every time (and I do mean every time) we go in by some stranger or other who feels compelled to stop and bask in our little sunshine. She has turned the grumpiest cashiers into best friends - as recently as last week, and makes friends everywhere she goes (which has prompted more than one "just because you know their name doesn't mean you are friends" speech).

There is just something very special about our little girl. It's alright if you choose to disagree with me. I know the truth.

So, I would like to celebrate this 20th day of December 2009 by saying - Happy Birthday, Avari! May our Father continue to mold you into the amazing little girl you are becoming with each passing day.

We love you!!

Life Stinks!

2009-10-08T05:00:00.000-05:00

The Lord planted a seed in my mind weeks ago. It's been something that has sustained me over the past month. It has encouraged me and given me joy. That thought: Life Stinks!

Confused yet, dear reader? It seems incongruous to say that "Life Stinks" could be an encouraging word. It doesn't make any sense at all unless you factor in the secret ingredient. . . God.

I had been caught in this downward spiral of discouragement and doubt. I kept thinking over and over that life really does stink. Our mountain of debt compared with our part-time income was overwhelming to say the least. I kept saying, "Why me?" I wasn't even saying these things to God anymore. I was just saying them.

Fortunately for me, God was listening anyway. He reminded me of something I learned as a teenager. You see, my mom is fanatical about growing things. We had a huge garden when I was a kid. My dad still kids her today about her affinity for all things green.

One thing she used to do was keep a compost pile. Yep, we had a huge pile of rotting, stinky, aromatic grossness in our backyard. It was basically garbage - all the things "normal" people throw in the trash. We saved anything that might make a plant grow - coffee grounds, egg shells, etc. I prefer not to think too hard about it even now.

I have to give credit where credit is due though. My mom has grown some amazing fruits and vegetables in her time. . . with the help of the compost, of course. We had no end of fresh corn, okra, tomatoes, squash, broccoli, peppers, etc. It makes me hungry just thinking about it.

What does all that have to do with "Life Stinks"? Everything! Papa reminded me that when that garden was first planted it looked like a bunch of dirt, and it smelled worse thanks to the compost. As time went on we started seeing some growth, but the stench was still there. However, when we picked those homegrown tomatoes and squash, and started partaking of the fruits of mom's labor, we kind of forgot about how horrible the smell was when we started.

I said all of that to say this. Life stinks!! But that putrid stench that we can barely endure at times is the compost of our lives. The situations that we encounter and call nauseating, fetid, rancid and decaying are in all actuality the fertilizer that our Father will use to grow us spiritually.

I am in no way saying that all of our circumstances are from God. I certainly can't blame the messes I've caused on Him. And I'm not saying it is at all pleasant. At times, it is barely tolerable to deal with, but in the end, the benefits far outweigh the cost.

If you think I'm spouting gibberish, let me refer you to Romans 8:28. He never promises us that this walk will be easy. We're not guaranteed a struggle-free life. However, He does say that all of the things we endure will "work together" for our good.

I'm still staring our mountain of debt full in the face without any clue how this is all going to work out. My husband is still praying for a full-time job with insurance and benefits so we can see a dentist or a doctor when we need to. In the meantime, he's working two jobs to try to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table. Let's face it, in many ways, right now as I sit writing this missive, Life Stinks! All I can say is. . . wait till you taste the fruit He's growing in us!!

Blessings!

Here's the Excuse

2009-10-07T11:08:00.003-05:00

It's been a busy summer. I've had my hands full with the usual issues of life topped off by inept contractors who refuse to finish a job. Yes, we're still working on repairs from hurricane Ike. After we complete the repairs from Ike, we'll have to start on repairing the damage the contractors have done. No, seriously, they have managed to make parts of my house look worse than when they started.

Besides all of those wonderfully fantastic things, I've started homeschooling my 3 1/2 year old. I know, I know, some of you out there are thinking I'm one of those pushy moms who is going to drive my kid way too hard academically. Actually, it's the other way around. I'm having a hard time keeping up with her. I took her through a reading course in the spring, and now she's reading chapter books with no problem. She's speeding through the kindergarten math so quickly that she is likely to finish the 2 year course in 1 year. I know I'm her mom; therefore, there is an innate bias in my opinions, but she is crazy brilliant!

Anyway, that's what we're up to these days, and so, I haven't stopped long enough to blog. There's another reason I have been away recently. After being at one church for the better part of 10 years, the Lord led us to return to the church I attended as a child. I think we needed the change on so many levels.

It has been a breath of fresh air spiritually. Our faith has been built up, and we are able to see the forest in spite of the trees now. Frankly, we've been walking through some of the most difficult trials, financially speaking, of our lives. I am well aware that we are in good company (is that the right terminology?) with our economy as it has been. However, in the past month we have been given some of the most timely and relevant messages - straight-shooting, word of God messages that remind us of all those things we already know but need to hear again and again.

In any case, I'll be back from time to time now. I make no promises as to how often, but as I've begun to see light through the darkness, I have felt the desire to share that light again.

Blessings!

Christian Carnival CCLXXXII

2009-06-24T07:54:00.010-05:00

Well, it's that time again kids . . . time for this week's round-up of some of the best posts in the Christian blogosphere. So, let's jump right in, and I hope you enjoy this week's edition of the Christian Carnival!

Jason over at Wretched Christian Blog challenges us to look at some of those Christian cliches we've heard so many times and evaluate the truths in them - or lack thereof - in his post Annoying Christian Cliches and How are They Wrong.

There are times when all of us need to be reminded of who we are in Christ, and Jaime does just that in her post Secure Your Identity at For His Glory.

FMF presents The Price of Faith, Being Christian posted at Free Money Finance.

NC Sue asks the all important question: How is it possible to forgive? at her blog, IN HIM WE LIVE AND MOVE AND HAVE OUR BEING.

Bible SEO shares an in-depth study on the Temptations of Jesus in the Wilderness.

Mikkal Travvis tries to separate truth from fiction in the post Huffington Post: Christians Are Domestic Terrorists! posted at Why God?.

ChristianPF over at Money in the Bible | Christian Personal Finance Blog gives us some insight into Medi-Share: A Christian health insurance alternative?

Annette at Fish and Cans asks So how does one teach a child to see God?, a question I'm sure we all struggle with as parents from time to time.

Louise shares how she refocuses her heart toward thankfulness rather than indulging in self pity in her post Choosing Thankfulness posted at Child of Grace.

Diane R. gives us part two of her review of Soong-Chan Rah's new book about how the American church needs to get out of its White Cultural Captivity in her post The New Evangelicalism Review-2 over at Crossroads: Where Faith and Inquiry Meet.

In his post John Calvin: Lift your hands "for the glory and worship of God" posted at who am i? Barry Wallace shares some of John Calvin's comments on expression in worship.

Michelle at Thoughts and Confessions of a Girl Who Loves Jesus... shares an exciting testimony of God's perfect timing in her post Psalm 148:13.

Jeremy Pierce at Parableman comments that, "President Obama has been criticized for saying that the U.S. isn't a Christian nation while later saying that it would be one of the largest Muslim countries if you just counted its Muslim citizens. There's an easy way to explain why this is consistent, but there might be problems with the motivation for saying these two things." He delves a little deeper in his post Obama on Muslim and Christian Nations.

Over at C. Orthodoxy, Ken Brown shares a wealth of knowledge as he gives us the responses of more than 65 blogs to his question about the 5 books or scholars that have most influenced how they read the bible. You can read their top picks in his post Biblioblog Top 10 Most Influential Authors and Books.

I had to laugh when I read Rey's post Theological Load Bearing Words over at The Bible Archive because he's completely right about the ambivalent meaning we and others assign to all these words.

And, I'll finish off the carnival with my most recent post Remodeling and Repairs here at Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God. I share a little lesson learned through our home repair drama.

Well, that wraps things up for this edition of the carnival. I hope you've gleaned something that will encourage, inform and/or exhort you this week. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to be your host. I look forward to reading all of your posts next week - you can submit them here.

Well, I'm gonna go check the thermometer and see if it's going to top 100° again today. As always, Blessings!

Remodeling and Repairs

2009-06-23T22:02:00.000-05:00

Oh, man, my life has been a crazy conundrum of colors and cacophony lately. We've had people in and out trying to do repairs on our house. This is all as a result of hurricane Ike last September. And, yes, the repairs are just now being done because we've been doing the insurance tango for the past 9 months to get a fair settlement.

Needless to say, it's been quite the bustle of activity around here. Since there were repairs needed in almost every room in our home, I was sequestered in my bedroom with my 3 year-old daughter and 4 year-old beagle for 2 weeks. Let's just say that I feel no need to experience that level of closeness again for a very long time - like, never!

We still haven't completed the repairs. There are loads of touch-ups and redo's that still have to take place. In fact, every time they touch up one spot, they seem to knock two more scratches and scuffs onto the walls making this process seem interminable. However, something struck me the other day as I walked through my repainted rooms for the 50th time, taking note of all the nicks and scratches that will need a paintbrush applied.

You see, I know this house like the back of my hand, and I'm a perfectionist by birth. It's my home, and I want it to be as amazing as it can possibly be. Therefore, I see every mistake, scuff, scratch, mark and stain. However, the hirelings who have been working for the past two weeks have a nominal interest at best. As long as they get paid, they don't care if my home is the best version of itself.

I'm sure you can see the parallel coming here. The same is true of God's view of us, His children. Papa sees our potential, and His desire is to see His relationship with us develop us into all that He created us to be. Unfortunately, we tend to walk around haphazardly scuffing, marking, scratching and staining our lives.

Here's the great news though - our Papa is the ultimate refurbisher. He doesn't need a paintbrush or caulk gun to make things right again. Instead, He makes us brand new, washes us completely clean leaving no trace of the damage we do.

I have to admit that after going through this process with my home, that is an even more amazing truth to me. I see how my care and concern for who and what I am is so much less than His. Yet, I insist on doing things my own way so much of the time, which almost always results in less than stellar results.

I think next time I try to remodel my life, I'll just hand my paintbrush and nail gun to Papa and let Him take care of things. That way, they'll be just . . . perfect.

Blessings!

Cricket, Cricket

2009-05-20T19:24:00.004-05:00

Have you been hearing crickets lately? You know, in my absence have there been crickets chirping around here? I feel like a lot of the craziness that has been my life lately is probably not good fodder for a blog - thus, my silence.

You know the proverbial rock and a hard place? Yeah, well, I feel pretty much sandwiched between those two fellas lately. There's really no easy answer to the problem, so I keep doing what I'm doing and praying that Papa will shed a little of His light on the subject.

In other news, I am happy to report that we may have finally settled our insurance claim from Ike. I haven't breathed that huge sigh of relief just yet. I'm waiting to see the check before I launch into my happy dance.

I thought it a bit comical that we have entered the new hurricane season before settling our claim from last season. I am really hoping that it will not be long before the hole in the ceiling is gone and our house restored to its former glory. Well, glory may be a bit over the top, but at least to its middle-class respectable state.

This one thing I know: I am blessed. My Father reminds me each day as I kiss my husband when he leaves for work and I hold my daughter tight as she says she loves me. I am a woman that has no end of blessings in her life. No way am I going to let a little insanity ruin that! Rock, Hard Place, meet my Father, the Rock of Ages.

Blessings!

Check Out the Christian Carnival

2009-04-29T09:15:00.002-05:00

There are some great posts in this week's Christian Carnival. It is being hosted at RodneyOlsen.net. You should click on over and pick a post that sounds right for you.

Blessings!

Ladybug and the Great Doodlebug Relocation Project

2009-04-24T09:31:00.004-05:00

I spent the entire day cleaning my house yesterday, and when I say "entire day," that's exactly what I mean. I started at about 8 am, and was finishing up at about 6 pm. I vacuumed under the cushions on the couch, located a missing princess shoe, and even managed to get the sliding glass door cleaned. I pulled off a more amazing feat by zipping outside to mow and fertilize the back yard while my hubby was home for 45 minutes between jobs. It was a good day of hard work, and I was feeling pretty proud of all I had accomplished.

As I was putting the finishing touches on my day of domesticity by baking homemade banana bread, I heard the plaintive cry of my little Ladybug, Avari, as she was playing outside. She was frantically yelling, "Get it, Mama, get it." I ran to the door expecting to see some unruly piece of nature attacking my darling daughter. What I found was a tear-stained 3 year-old grasping two rather large tufts of freshly fertilized lawn - one tuft per hand.

As she stood on the little piece of concrete that serves as a canvas for her sidewalk chalk masterpieces, I quickly scanned the area for the cause of her outburst. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, relatively speaking, I began to ask her what was wrong. She, still crying in that stuttering, panicky fashion, replied, "The doodlebug, Mama, get (sniff) the doodlebug." I again looked around trying to locate the poor, unsuspecting creature only to find . . . nothing. As she used one of her grass-filled fists to point to the edge of the patio, I figured out that the little guy had disappeared into the grass, thus, the rampage against my lawn.

I knelt down and pulled back the grass to see several little doodlebugs cowering in fear. I scooped one up, and cheerfully said, "Look, Mama found him." I proceeded to pry the remnants of my once verdant lawn from her tiny grasp as I produced the balled up bug.

Then, still gasping and sniffling, my little one told me that I needed to put him in the flower bed. Easy enough, I headed to the nearest flower bed, which immediately induced a fresh wave of panic and tears as she cried, "not that flower bed."

At this point, I seriously wanted to retreat to my kitchen to finish my bread before my dog devised a plan to somehow climb up the stools around the island and eat the batter. I not so calmly asked, "Which flower bed would you like Mama to put him in, sweetie?"

She pointed a shaky finger behind me, and I slowly turned to see her indicating the flower bed on the other side of the yard, the side of the yard I had finished watering only minutes before. Translation: the side of the yard that was going to require me to take another shower after the relocation was complete. I tentatively replied, "Are you sure you want to take him so far away from his friends?" To which she unwaveringly answered, "Y-y-y-yes, w-w-with the buttercups (sniff)."

I obligingly hiked my pants up around my knees while balancing the frightened ball of doodlebug in the palm of my hand and began the short trek to my embarrassingly overgrown, buttercup-filled flower bed. The whole time I'm thinking, "We are now relocating this poor fella to the doodlebug equivalent of 4,000 miles from home." When we arrived at our destination a mere 15 seconds later, I placed our "rescued" doodlebug next to a buttercup and hopefully asked, "OK?"

Again, I endured a seemingly unending round of cries and tears. I hurriedly scooped up the bug and inquired as to my mistake. The conversation went something like this:

I asked, "Wasn't that where you wanted him?"

Ladybug said, "Put him by the buttercuuuups."

My response: "You mean where I just had him?"

Her reply: "Yeeees, Mamaaa."

My desperate request for reassurance: "Are you sure?"

Her meager attempt to allay my fears: "Yes (sniff), by the buttercup (sniff)."

Again, I placed the little ball of bug next to the buttercup and said, "I'm sure he'll be happy here in the flowers." As I walked away (I would have run, but kids can smell fear), I heard her cry, "My doodlebug!!!"

Is there a message in my story? Oh, I don't know. I just really thought it was too cute not to share.

I suppose after it happened I thought about how that poor little bug, from his perspective, got picked up by giant hands and placed so far out of his comfort zone that he's probably still rolled in that tiny gray ball.

I feel like rolling up in a tiny gray ball sometimes. Of course, if I was limber enough to roll myself in a ball it wouldn't be tiny by a long shot.

On the other hand, as Ladybug insisted on relocating our friend, she had his best interests at heart - a vast expanse of beautiful wildflowers where he could roam to his doodlebug's heart's content.

It reminded me that although I can't see the big picture of my life from down here in the grass where I try to roll up in a ball when confronted with new obstacles or fears, my Father is carefully and gently moving me toward his perfect plan. That is a relocation project I can get behind!!

Blessings!

Just Plain Funny!

2009-04-22T08:56:00.005-05:00

I had a couple of really important things I thought about posting here today, but I decided that maybe you just needed a good laugh instead. I know I did. So without further ado . . .

A friend posted this jewel on Facebook recently, and I nearly had coffee coming out my nose as I read it. I know - gross, right? Sorry, my husband has rubbed off on me. It's an illness. Maybe I should start a foundation or something. Okay, I said without further ado, and this has been some serious ado. Let the funny begin!!

Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, let's try this my way...just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again...I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off--After I laugh my head off!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask...because you are my FRIEND!

And, just because it's Wednesday here's a second funny to brighten your day. My daughter and I love this one. Ya gotta love The Muppets!!

If that wasn't spiritual enough for you, let me remind you that Proverbs 17:22 says, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Have a joy-filled day!

Blessings!

Christian Carnival CCLXXI

2009-04-08T08:23:00.022-05:00

I am excited to be hosting the 271st Christian Carnival. I think there is something for everyone in this edition. So, without further ado, let's get started.

Michelle chronicles a day on the mission field in Nicaragua in her post, Philippians 2:14-16, at Thoughts and Confessions of a Girl Who Loves Jesus.

Over at blog.kennypearce.net Kenny ponders the question, "How does one engage in intellectually honest apologetics?" in his contribution, Apologetics: The Good and The Bad.

ChristianPF reminds us that "Our faith should affect our spending decisions - and help us control it as well!" in How to Control Spending.

Trent gives us a compelling look at fear in his two part post Enemy Behind the Lines: Fear, Pt. 1 and Enemy Behind the Lines: Fear, Pt. 2 at his blog, Christian Men Christian Warriors.

Free Money Finance draws a parallel between the current economic climate and The Story of Joseph as he encourages us to save in our times of plenty for the eventual times of famine.

Jeff at ReturningKing.com gives us part 20 in his Wolves in Wool series with his post, The Consumerization of the Gospel.

We are presented with the thought-provoking question, "Was the resurrection of Christ just a trick of the apostles' minds?" by Chris at Homeward Bound in the first part of his series Objections to the Resurrection.

For those of us who have never had the pleasure of Entering St. Peter's Basilica in Rome we are treated to some beautiful pictures by Victor at his blog, Pictures of the Vatican City, Rome, Italy.

Richard H. Anderson presents Victory of Christ posted at dokeo kago grapho soi kratistos Theophilos.

Michael takes a look at the sacrifice of The Suffering Servant and why it is important to us at Chasing the Wind.

Over at The Minority Thinker, Shannon delves into the American Family Association's suggested boycott of Pepsi and posits Family Guy and Pepsi: Shooting at the Wrong Targets!

Now, take a deep breath, grab a bite to eat, visit the little girls' or little boys' room, and settle in for the second half of this thought-provoking carnival.

This next offering really challenged me in my perception of what a church should look like. Brian at Boston Bible Geeks gives us The Importance of the Sacraments.

As the wife of a science fiction and fantasy aficionado I really appreciated Ken's look at Science Fiction, Fantasy and an Interventionist God at his blog, C. Orthodoxy.

Weekend Fisher considers some of the sinfulness in inter-Christian dialog (or perhaps the lack of dialog) in her post, Christian Reconciliation: What is the first step? at Heart, Mind, Soul, and Strength.

Mark at Pseudo-Polymath wonders whether it is reasonable and rational to be a Christian in our modern world in his contribution, Of Reason (or Warrant) and Faith.

Rani shares her Prayer of the Week - Life of Righteousness at her blog, Christ's Bridge.

In The Incarnation and Compatibilism Jeremy at Parableman presents an argument that the Incarnation, as traditionally understood, fits best with a compatibilist view of human freedom.

Catez gives us an in-depth review and her thoughts after seeing Slumdog Millionaire posted at Allthings2all.

Jason presents Book Review: Old Testament Theology: A Thematic Approach posted at Pastoral Musings.

When I read Rodney's post on What do we believe? at RodneyOlsen.net, I was seriously surprised at the findings of a recent survey done in Australia.

And, finally, please take a moment to read my thoughts on the Jesus-lover's role as an encourager in my post, Don't Make Me Read Your Mind right here at Fathom Deep.

Now, for a little light housekeeping. No, I don't want you to dust. Well, I mean, if you were to offer, I wouldn't turn you down. But, that's not what I meant by housekeeping. The next Christian Carnival will be held over at Fish and Cans. If you would like to participate (and we would love to have you), go here, complete the submission form, and I'll be reading your post this time next week!

Thanks to everyone who gifted us with their thoughts this week. It was a treat to host again, and I'll see you all next week at Fish and Cans.

Blessings!

Don't Make Me Read Your Mind

2009-04-07T19:22:00.000-05:00

When my sister and I were young, we had a bad habit that drove my mother absolutely insane. If we were looking for something and went to ask her for help, we had the propensity to say, "Mom, can you help me find the 'thingie' for the 'doodad' that does the 'stuff.' Or something of that nature in any case. It was a real sticky point with her when we did that. Of course, we knew exactly what we were talking about, but Mom would say, "I'm not a mind reader. You're going to have to tell me what you're looking for." To which we would so sagely reply, "I told you I'm looking for the 'thingie'. . . " It was like a bad version of "Who's On First."

Well, my sister and I both have children now, and we feel Mom's pain. Our kids, despite being extremely intelligent and capable of complex conversation, insist on asking us to find 'thingies' and 'stuff.' I've heard my mom's words tumble back out of my mouth as I stood there having the oddest sense of deja vu.

Now, after a particularly long session of the "I'm Not A Mind Reader Game" with my daughter, I started thinking about how I still fall into this trap as an adult. Oh, I've grown past the 'thingie' requests of my childhood, but I still expect people to read my mind sometimes. I think maybe we all do it to some extent.

How often in a day do you think, "I really love my husband" but not tell him. Aren't there times when you spend time with a friend and are reminded how much their friendship means to you, but you don't stop to tell them? We tend to pass over the positive things while we are quick to point out negatives. We do it to our spouses, our children, our friends.

I've been struggling off and on lately. I'm sort of trapped alone at home a lot. My husband is working two jobs, and we are a one car family, which gives me way too much time to think. I tend to pick myself apart, and the enemy really loves to sow seeds of doubt in those times. I doubt my abilities as a wife and mother. I beat myself up about my lack of perfection as a musician. I question whether I'll ever be a good photographer. I have a million of them, and the devil loves a good opening. He jumps right in and starts offering suggestions of my other shortcomings.

Do you know what stops those rambling doubts? Encouragement. Words of comfort. Being reminded by a friend of who I am in Christ. I'm not sure when we are all going to figure out that we need each other, and none of us are mind readers. We need to speak encouragement and comfort into the lives of those around us not just think it. Just hearing that you are valued and appreciated makes a world of difference.

Please don't misunderstand me. I have to realign my focus on who I am in Christ and not pin my value to my talents or skills or lack thereof. I have to cast off the doubts that the enemy would place in my life if I allow it. However, sometimes it takes the words of a friend and fellow Jesus-lover to help in that quest.

I found this word in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 this morning. It says:

³Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ⁵For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

So, next time you think something good about someone, don't just think it, share it. It's so easy to pick up the phone, walk across the street, send an e-mail, or write on someone's wall (on Facebook, of course). Through that simple act of sharing a word of comfort or encouragement you are not only showing your love and concern, you are sharing the love of our Savior. And there is no greater gift than that.

Blessings!

Through The Eyes of A Child

2009-03-24T20:11:00.004-05:00

As I'm sure you may have noticed (if you come here often), I have been less than present in the blogosphere of late. With my new semi single parent status as a result of Dan working two jobs, I've found much less time for writing. I have made peace with that in some ways. I suppose that sometimes you have to focus on living life now and writing about it later. Well, now is later, at least tonight.

Last Friday we went to Brenham for the day. That's where they make Blue Bell ice cream, and that alone could cause the trip to be worthwhile. However, we went to see the bluebonnets and take our annual wildflower photos.

As we drove across the Washington county line we were greeted by fields of gorgeous wildflowers. Of course, there were acres of bluebonnets, but there were also Indian paintbrushes and beautiful fields of yellow wildflowers. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and I was once again amazed at the handiwork of our Father.

As we all piled out of the car to stretch our legs after the 2 hour trip, the kids took off running through the fields. We took some good pictures and made some wonderful memories. More than that, I was reminded at how the simple joys are really still the best.

Avari and her cousins all ran around so happy and carefree. It made me wish for that kind of abandon. Then I remembered that our Father calls us to be just like those children. You don't believe me? Jesus says this in Matthew 18:3-4:

³Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

We, as God's children, have the freedom to come and turn our every care over to Him. I fail miserably at this on a near daily basis. Thankfully, His love never fails and His mercies are new every morning.

Isn't it just astounding that if we choose to be, we can live our lives basking in our dependence upon Him instead of struggling with our own ineptitudes? He doesn't love us more or less based on our accomplishments or accolades. Papa simply wants us to rely on Him and allow Him to lead as we follow.

I want to be like a child. That's the lesson I learned in the bluebonnets this week.

Blessings!

You Can Lead A Horse To Water

2009-03-08T18:20:00.004-05:00

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink, or so the saying goes. I ran into this problem recently with my 3 year-old daughter. I decided it would be a good idea for her to spend the night with my parents. We tried to dazzle her with the prospect of pancakes on Saturday morning, a surprise from Mommy, sleeping in a "tent," etc., etc. Of course, the more we tried to entice her, the more adamant she became that she wasn't going to spend the night.

We left our meeting that Friday night and called to check in with my parents only to find out that Avari had refused to go into the back of the house where her room and the bathroom are. In fact, she refused to even let MiMi brush her teeth for fear that it would lead to her spending the night.

I led her to the water, but as I tried to force her to drink, my beautiful daughter turned into a 3 year-old mule! I have to admit that following this morning's service, I was feeling a little mulish myself.

We had a special speaker this morning. He began his time by regaling the congregation with stories about his last two meetings where people filled the altars from "here" to "there."

He spoke on holiness and godliness. These are admirable topics, and I wholly agree that we should pursue both qualities in our lives. However, he didn't give one concrete, real-life example of how we should seek to become holy or godly.

Oh, he read loads of scriptures with the words "holy," "godly," "holiness," and godliness" in them. But he never got down to the root of what it means to be holy or godly. How are those inexperienced, undiscipled listeners supposed to know what all this means without a little explanation and real life application?

Maybe it's my Homiletics teacher's fault. He drilled into me that the best way to preach a sermon is E. I. A. A. Oh. This translates to Explain, Illustrate, Argue and Apply. If you do this, your congregation will say, "Oh." This puts a "handle" on the suitcase that is your sermon so people can carry it with them as they leave the sanctuary. It works too in case you were wondering.

Beyond the fact that I didn't cotton to his homiletic style, there was the altar call. I found out how he filled those altars in his previous meetings. He forced everyone out of their seats and into the altar area. Seriously, he kept talking until every little old lady and her walker were down front. Then he had us place our hands over our hearts, raise our left hands and "pray this prayer after me."

I suppose our service will be his testimony at the next meeting about how the altars were filled with praying people. Never mind that there was a cattle prod moving us down there.

After we were herded down to the altar like so many head of cattle, we were lectured about how if we really love God we would come back to his other two services tonight and tomorrow night. Some of his words were, "if you really want to go to heaven, you need to be here tonight."

Last time I checked, Sunday night services were not a prerequisite for entering heaven. I could be mistaken. Those verses may have been accidentally left out of my Bible. In any case, I've never read the 11th commandment that states, "Thou shalt not miss Sunday night services or thou wilt spend the whole of eternity burning in everlasting fires."

So, instead of leaving our Sunday morning service feeling energized and ready to face the world, I left feeling bullied and peeved. Maybe it was just me. Perhaps I wasn't searching hard enough for the good in all of it. But as I looked around I saw several others who looked just as disturbed about the whole thing as I was.

I'm just saying that people question why the younger generation is fleeing the churches. This is an example of why. In my opinion, there wasn't much genuine about what happened. Our speaker may have had good intentions, but you cannot manipulate and bully people into the altars and expect a "repeat after me" prayer to stick.

Instead, why can't we follow the example of some of the preachers of old. I never read about Paul forcing people into the altars to pray. He allowed the Holy Spirit to do His job. As ministers, we are responsible for giving the word, but the Holy Spirit draws people. Forcing them into the altars does not a conversion or revival experience make. We have to remember that God is God, and He is fully capable of moving upon the hearts of men and women without manipulation or bullying.

So, it may not be as catchy a saying, but I think the thing that describes my feelings about this morning is "you can lead a horse to water, but if you nearly drown him in the pursuit of getting him to drink, he may turn mulish."

Blessings!

Hide & Seek

2009-03-03T20:21:00.004-06:00

Our daughter is 3 years old now. She is very bright for her age, and I don't just say that as a biased mom. She leaves people with their mouths hanging open at some of the things she knows and says. Her Sunday school teacher got really excited a few weeks ago because Avari actually didn't already know the story they were studying that day.

Seriously, the kid has a good number of her books memorized. I don't mean just a little bit. She can quote them word for word. So, a few weeks ago we decided that it was a good time to start helping her memorize scripture. She took to it like a fish to water.

So far, in the past 4 weeks she's memorized John 3:16, I John 1:9, Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalms 23:1-6 and Jeremiah 29:11-13. She can say them all flawlessly without any prompting. It makes my heart proud to hear her as she's playing just begin to quote the word of God.

Now, I know full well that she does not completely grasp the meaning of the words she is quoting. We explain the scriptures to her as we work on memorizing them so they won't just be words. But I know it will be years before she is able to fathom what she's learned. So, what's the point, right?

Well, there's a scripture that I have memorized. It is Psalm 119:11. It says, "I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." I believe that the more of Papa's words I can plant in my heart the better. And I believe that the benefits go even beyond not sinning against Him. His words comfort me when I am struggling. I find wisdom and insight into situations based on the scriptures. The list could go on and on.

My plan is to pass that gift along to my daughter. When she grows older and begins to feel she is unworthy, she can remember that in John 3:16 the scripture tells her our Father loves her so much He sent His only son to save us. When she feels that she is mired in her own sins and faults, she will know that she is promised purity from all unrighteousness when she confesses her sin to Papa. If she should question her direction in life, Proverbs 3:5-6 will remind her that she can place her trust in Him and He will guide her. Psalm 23 can provide her the assurance that her Father watches over and protects her, guides her and keeps her. And Jeremiah 29:11-13 will remind her that there is a God-ordained purpose for her life that none can question.

Is it too early to have her hide His words in her heart? I think not. If she has them hidden firmly, she will not have to seek them too earnestly before she finds them. They will be there to wrap her in the love and grace of her Father, our Father. May we all hide His words in our hearts!

Blessings!

Blessings from UPS

2009-02-11T12:41:00.004-06:00

I was in my scroungy clothes (the ones I clean house in), and someone rang my doorbell this afternoon. Now, let me tell you, these clothes were not meant to be seen by the outside world. We're talking bleach spots and all. Fortunately, I did at least have makeup on. I figured it was yet another roofer or yard care company wanting me to purchase their services, so I ignored them. We get at least two or three of those a week.

I suppose it's a good thing that my visitor was persistent. It was the UPS delivery man. When I saw him, I was even more confused because I haven't ordered anything from anyone recently. I cracked the door assuming he was mistakenly delivering to the wrong address (although he knows me pretty well after all the deliveries he's made over the years).

I opened the door and he said, "Target Corporation." I stammered out a "What?," and he repeated himself. I signed the signature tablet, took my envelope and closed the door (after saying thank you, of course). I proceeded to open the package and find a Target gift card from a friend.

Well, let's just say that after the good cry I just had I'm no longer wearing any makeup, so I would scare the life out of the next person who comes to my door. You know, it's funny, my UPS delivery man is a Christian, but he had no idea he was delivering a blessing to me today. Papa has a strange way of letting you know He's got everything under control. And I am reminded once again that the amazing friends He has given me are His greatest blessings!

Life Is What You Make Of It . . . Sort Of

2009-02-06T10:33:00.004-06:00

Some things in life we have control over and others we do not. There are things that happen to us that are completely out of our control. There is nothing that we did to warrant it, and there is nothing we can do to change it. However, I would say that in some ways life is what we make of it.

To put it a different way - Is your glass half empty of half full? Our attitude about our situation in life can make a difference. I've been extremely honest about our circumstances. They haven't changed one iota of late; however, I've been more joyful and less despondent. I still have my moments of feeling forlorn, and I don't claim to always be cheery. But, overall, I've been appreciating more of the "haves" in my life and trying to focus less on my "have nots."

I suppose that it has something to do with the scripture that Papa brought to mind, Matthew 6:25-34. This has been my life raft lately, and it says:

²⁵ Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Ar you not of more value than they? ²⁷And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ²⁸And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you. ³⁴Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

What I take from this is that first and foremost I need to be hearing Papa's voice and seeking Him in my life. Secondly, I can worry about tomorrow until the cows come home tonight, and it isn't going to make a dime's worth of difference. I can give myself an ulcer, bicker with my husband and make my daughter miserable, and it still won't change circumstances.

OR, I can allow my Father to show me his bird's eye view of my life and enjoy the blessings I do have. Because when it comes right down to it, every moment I spend worrying is another moment I've given victory to the devil. He would love nothing more than to keep us all stewing in our own juices and consumed by our own concerns that we ignore our Father's voice. His voice that comforts us and reminds us that He knows our worries and that He holds us in the very palm of His hand.

There is a song that comes to my mind. I haven't thought about it in ages. A friend of mine used to sing it in church occasionally. It is called "Blessed." The words of the chorus are these:

I am blessed, I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning
Till I lay my head to rest
I feel you near me
You soothe me when I'm weary
Oh, Lord, for all the worst and all the best
I am blessed

May we all remember that regardless of our situation or our circumstances "for all the worst and all the best" we are blessed.

Blessings!

Soul Scrubbing

2009-01-27T08:41:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure why I picked that title. It seemed the best way to describe my worship experience last Sunday. It left me feeling refreshed and clean but a little raw.

My friend, Jennifer, led worship Sunday morning, and I always love it when she does. She's got an amazing voice and an ability to usher you into the very presence of God. Not everyone can do that.

There are people who are terrific musicians and have fabulous voices, but that is where it stops. It is a completely different gift that allows you to be sensitive enough to your congregation to lead multiple generations holding varied tastes into the throne room together. Jennifer is blessed to have that gift. Maybe, the more apt statement would be that we are blessed that Jennifer has that gift.

In any case, she sang this song called "Come To Me" as an offertory before we entered worship. Again, it was one of those "I needed to hear that" songs. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who needed to hear it either. The congregation was eager to meet with Papa.

I know it shouldn't, but sometimes it still amazes me how my Father can reach down and just reinvigorate me when I'm at my lowest. Somehow it reminds me of the sticks that are passing for plants in my backyard right now. They are dormant, but as soon as the first breath of spring blows through, they will begin to revive. I felt His breath blow through my life on Sunday. It spoke to my dormant heart and began to revive it.

Things may not be easy for a long time. My husband is still looking for a job. He has been substitute teaching during the day. Now he is looking at trying to get a low-paying part-time job in the evenings/weekends to supplement that. We are simply trying to stay afloat at this point. We are doing the very best that we know how to do. You know what? It's not enough. Our best will never be enough on its own, but Papa comes alongside us to buoy our spirits and make up the difference.

I'm not sure that last statement is even true. He doesn't make up the difference. Somehow He takes our best and improves it, no, transforms it until it is unrecognizable because it is infinitely better than our hands alone could accomplish.

So, Sunday, I feel like I got a good soul scrubbing, which was something I desperately needed. He washed off the self-pity and despair. I walked away smelling a little more like the rose and a little less like the fertilizer, if you know what I mean.

The scripture that has been running rampant through my mind is Isaiah 40:28-31. And I want you to be encouraged by its words as they remind us:

²⁸Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. ²⁹He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. ³⁰Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; ³¹but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strngth; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

I pray that you will share in the renewed strength of our wonderful Father as you face whatever challenges may arise in your journey. And, I pray that you will have His joy to accompany you.

Blessings!

You're Not Alone

2009-01-24T08:34:00.004-06:00

Do you ever turn on the radio and unwittingly hear a song that you just really needed? That happened to me the other day. I was on the way home from my yearly check-up at the doctor's office. I was thinking about how I could have paid several other bills with the $300 I spent on that one office visit. Then it happened.

I just turned on the radio to drown out my thoughts. It was really a bit of a treat to be able to do so because my 3 year old daughter tends to monopolize radio time with her CDs. When I tuned in KSBJ, the next song that came on was "Where Your Heart Belongs" by a group called Mainstay.

This really falls into the "I knew that but really needed to hear it" category. Sometimes we just need to be reminded about certain aspects of our Father's love. So, I thought I'd share it with you today. The slide show on this YouTube posting is less than stellar, but it is the original recording of the song, I believe.

I hope you are as encouraged by it as I was. I think that there are times when we all feel a little alone. But, we never really are alone. I needed that reminder the other day. I had let circumstances discourage me. Thankfully, Papa has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8) regardless of what our feelings or circumstances may indicate. Take heart, you are not alone.

Blessings!

When Mediocre Isn't Good Enough

2009-01-23T08:09:00.006-06:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, very little writing, but a lot of thinking. What have I been thinking about? Well, I'm glad you've asked. I have been pondering the prevalence of mediocrity in the pursuit of Christ. In some cases, I would even say that mediocre is a generous descriptor.

My question is this: When did "just good enough" begin to pass for "great" in relationship and ministry? How did we come to the point where Facebook (love it as I do) started sufficing for real relationship? Don't get me wrong. I've already checked my FB page this morning, and it's a terrific way to keep in touch with people. I love seeing how people have changed and grown since high school and college. But, really, does sending a little message on Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace accomplish the same thing as a phone call or grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend?

I'm just saying that if my husband and I only ever texted or e-mailed each other or only saw each other on Facebook, we would have a sad relationship if we had any relationship at all. It takes a little more effort than that. Mediocre should not suffice.

The same goes for ministry. I play guitar in our church's worship band. Last Sunday I left service in shame and disgrace at how our Sunday morning worship went. We had a huge train wreck right there on stage for all to see. It hurt my pride, yes, but more than that it disrupted the congregation's ability to enter in to worship. You could feel the congregation inwardly cringe as we struggled to get it together. And, perhaps it is just my view alone, but it seems that we have begun to settle for "good enough" more often than we push for excellence.

I am unashamedly an overachiever. I don't say that to pat myself on the back or in a spirit of braggadocio. I say it in an effort to qualify my remarks and say that despite my propensity for being a perfectionist, that is not what I am advocating here. Simply put, if we don't put the effort in to become proficient with a particular song or to maintain and grow a relationship, the chances of gross failure on an enormous scale loom imminent.

Look, I'm not saying that all of our "train wrecks" in life can be avoided, but doesn't our Father deserve more than our leftovers in life? Shouldn't we be giving Him our very best? It takes work. It isn't always easy, but I have never found it unrewarding.

In my experience, when I get lazy in my relationship with my husband, that's when we drift. We have more nitpicking arguments, and we simply exist. We don't grow together, and we don't move forward. In fact, ofttimes we slip backwards. However, when I make the extra effort to see his side of things, make a special dinner for him, or just tell him how much I love and appreciate him, it makes a world of difference in the climate of our home.

In relationship, in ministry, really, in anything we do, the return we get is in direct proportion to the effort we put forth. Garbage in, garbage out, as the saying goes. If we want to be listed with Daniel (Daniel 5:12, Daniel 6:3), as one with an excellent spirit, it will take a little more than a mediocre effort.

So, Papa has challenged me to give more of myself to Him. I have been lazy in my relationship with Him of late. In my observation of mediocrity elsewhere, He has challenged me to dispense with the pedestrian manner in which I have pursued Him. I find that I have fallen into repetitious prayers and a lackadaisical relationship. I have a tendency to do that when I feel control slipping from my grasp as with our financial struggles.

In any case, I have been reminded once again that He gave up everything for me, and I have no right to withhold my best from Him. I've decided to break free from the insanity. You do know the definition of insanity, don't you? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. OK, so that isn't actually the definition of insanity, but it is true in this case.

I hope that if you too find yourself in the land of the mediocre when it comes to your relationships or ministry, you will join me in aspiring to an excellent spirit.

Blessings!

It's Only Money . . .Right?

2009-01-09T12:49:00.002-06:00

I'm just going to be real with you today. I'm always real, but sometimes we avoid being real when things get us down. Instead we paste a smile on and pretend to feel okay so no one else has to feel uncomfortable in our presence. Well, I'm no good at that. So, like I said I'm just going to be real.

My husband has been out of work for nearly 5 months now. He is substitute teaching when he can get an assignment, but those don't come every day. We've been without insurance for all that time. Fortunately, we are all healthy so it hasn't really presented a major problem until now.

I called to schedule my daughter's 3 year check-up and my annual visit. I deigned to ask what the cost would be for the privilege of seeing these physicians. Turns out, going to the doctor could really cost you an arm and a leg. I guess if you're going to lose an arm or leg, the doctor's office is the best place to be.

Seriously, my daughter's check-up is going to run us $140. They'll weigh and measure her. The doctor will come in for maybe 5 minutes to listen to her heart and lungs. They'll pronounce her perfectly healthy and take my grocery money for the next two weeks.

That isn't even the worst part. My doctor is going to cost twice that amount. I guess that's because he has to spend 10 minutes in the room with me as opposed to the 5 minutes Avari's doctor takes. Oh, and that doesn't include the blood work. That will most likely be another $200 or so. All in all, I'll be spending over $600 on doctor's visits, and we aren't even sick!!!

So, where does that leave me? Trusting God in a huge way. You see, we've already drawn out my retirement fund. We have some money left in our IRAs, but there's nowhere near enough. My husband is doing his best to find a job, but he's having no luck. I'll be honest with you, I'm freaking out here!

I know my Father supplies my needs, but that provision isn't evident in my life right now. Does that mean he isn't supplying? No. It means I can't see it with my eyes. I guess that's what you call faith, right? However, it isn't easy when you have to tell your kid no every time she asks you for something. Frankly, I'm sick of hearing myself say, "maybe when Daddy gets a permanent job" or "Mama's sorry, but we just don't have the money for that right now." And these aren't big requests, they are really small things. It's hard.

Please don't misunderstand me. We are extremely blessed. There are so many others out there who are worse off than we are. But, I have to say that I have come to the conclusion that the only people who say "It's only money" are the ones who have it.

So, I wait. I wait for Dan to get a job. I wait for Papa's provision. And I pray. I pray for His strength. I pray for His peace. And I pray for His grace to see us through as I know He will.

Blessings!

The First Carnival of 2009

2009-01-07T07:48:00.013-06:00

Today I am honored to host Christian Carnival CCLVIII, the inaugural edition of 2009. Let me say that I have been in a contemplative state of mind regarding goals for this new year and this carnival offers some wonderful food for thought. I think I'll dub this the guilt-free, indulgent edition! So, pull up a chair, grab your fork and spoon and prepare to enjoy a feast without all the pesky fat and calories!

Minister Mamie L. Pack ponders the purposes of A Simple Box over at The Life I Now Live. She reminds us that we're so much more than what we may appear to be.

I loved what ChristianPF had to say in 6 reasons to give more in the new year posted at Christian Personal Finance Blog. It's a terrific reminder that even in today's economy there are plenty of reasons to be a giver.

FMF presents Free Money Finance: The Bible on Today's Economic Woes posted at Free Money Finance.

Travis at Your Everyday Christian reminded me that being "in the world" and not "of the world" means continually reaching out to those around me in Jail Time with God and My Cousin.

Vickie Sloderbeck discusses how and why you might want to Establish a Weekly Date Night posted at Joyful Journey Productions.

Over at Heart, Mind, Soul and Strength Weekend Fisher challenges whether "historical grammatical" is really the best way to appreciate the Bible in Handel: Scripture is a symphony.

Richard H. Anderson gives us Outside the camp at dokeo kago grapho soi kratistos Theophilos.

Courtesy of Sidetracked Moms by Vickie Sloderbeck we have Some Ways to Help Eliminate Fighting. I may only have one child now, but I'm definitely tucking these ideas away for later use!

Rich shares his wonderful testimony of Papa's provision in Witness at his blog, Blogger For Christ . com.

Bible SEO walks us through a terrific study on Prepare the Way - Ministry of John the Baptist - Matthew 3:1-12 posted at Bible Study Exposition Online.

Raffi Shahinian educates us a little with Emergent/Missional/Post-Evangelical Definitions for the Layperson posted at parables of a prodigal world. I have to say that my favorite is #3!

Novelette gives us a tremendous example of A life of Service, the story of Father Damien of Molokai posted at Daily Gratia.com.

Vickie Sloderbeck and Faith Janes look at Frivilous Toys for the Sidetracked Mom posted at Sidetracked Moms.

This week at Light Along the Journey, John looks at the faith of the first woman mentioned in the Hebrews hall of faith and how her example applies to every wife (and every believer) in his post The Faith of a Wife: The Three-Fold Example of Sarah. Let me just say that this post is a home run!

Annette at Fish and Cans discusses what happened Today in Church.

As a worshiper and musician I was so excited to read Chris's thoughts in A Cheer For Music In Worship at his blog, Sing Louder Musings.

Jeremy Pierce takes a look at some arguments by Michael Craven on same sex marriage in his post, Michael Craven on Homosexuality and Same-Sex Marriage posted at Parableman.

And last, but I hope not least, (although reading this week's submissions it may be the least) is my post Pray for Me here at Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God.

Well, that wraps up the 258th edition of the Christian Carnival. Man, it's like Christmas dinner all over again. I just finished and I'm already hungry for more. So, don't forget to submit your posts for the 259th edition next week. I can hardly wait!